The Chaos Within Me

Life as dark as a dark alley, with all the streetlights broken,

Where even the moon can't reach.

Lifeless—like a person with no life within,

Blankly staring at the ceiling with loud noises running through the mind.

The clouds thunder loudly,

As if asking a question:

"Why can't you?"

A question whose answer is known to me,

And it breaks hearts into pieces.

She kept finding hope in a hopeless life,

Hoping she'd find light,

Hoping she'd cope with her life,

Hoping someone would, just once, become her hope—

Just like she was for others.

When she was needed by others,

She was always there.

When she needed others,

No one was ever there.

She's battling everything all over again,

Scared and unsure how long this one is going to last.

For her, free time never looked like a blessing—

But a curse,

Because negativity devoured her in those moments.

People around her asked:

"Why are you so negative-minded?

Why don't you open up?"

If it were as easy as asking,

Wouldn't she have done it long ago?

She's slowly getting so devoured by darkness

That she starts writing whatever comes to mind.

And while writing,

She wonders...

"Is life really that bad right now?"

Even the toughest person needs reassurance once.

But when she expects it,

Everyone says to be rough and tough.

Why?

Is the toughest soldier not allowed to be weak for once?

Now you must be wondering—

Why is this whole thing written so messily, right?

This is how her mind is right now:

Messy and chaotic,

With no exit nearby to be found.

                                                                                                                                              ~ Bella Red