Unsurity & Insecurity

I'm at that point in life

Where everything feels unsure.

I'm at that point in life

That makes me insecure.

Which overall, makes me feel suffocated—

Suffocated to the point where it's taken a toll on me,

Making me more miserable than ever before.

I'm so miserable that

My nights are sleepless.

Wondering what's bothering me?

It's me.

I am the problem.

Each night,

I ask myself:

"Why?

Why do you have to torture yourself so much?

Have you become so addicted to the pain that you can't let it go?"

Yes.

It's a yes.

I can never forgive myself for it—

Never.

Even though I haven't slept at all,

I still don't feel sleepy.

The person who used to sleep well—

Who even overslept—

Can't sleep anymore.

What went so wrong?

What exactly went wrong

That I'm in this state?

The answer remains a mystery.

Sleepless nights have turned into unbearable headaches,

But instead of resting,

Here I am—

Writing.

And writing.

All of this has made me unsure about life, And more insecure about myself than ever.
So now, the question remains:

Will this ever end?

If yes—

Then when?

When?

Bella Red